12.30.2009 Hugh Hefner
Hugh Hefner has 3 girlfriends and he sells naked pictures of them. Society is mostly OK with that. Not thrilled, but they let it go. If he was to decide to get out of the porn business and settle down and marry all three of his girlfriends, he would be a criminal. [send to a friend]
10.07.2008 Gateway Drugs
When people talk about gateway drugs, they are usually talking about soft drugs that lead to harder drugs. I think Ambien is a gateway drug, but it means something different. People report sleep walking, and eating, even driving, but you don't hear about people who are asleep doing their taxes, or cleaning the gutters, or working on cures for cancer or anything good like that. It is always the fun stuff. I think taking Ambien opens your unconscious body as a gateway to the other side. Demons can cross over and possess your body so they can do fun things. I'm pretty sure there is a link between angels and Viagra, but I'll have to save that for another time. [send to a friend]
10.07.2008 Country Names
My shower curtain is a map of the world, and it seemed to me that there were a disproportionate number of countries and territories that ended with the letter A. For your consideration- here is most of them.
* Abkhazia Republic of Abkhazia
* Albania Republic of Albania
* Algeria People's Democratic Republic of Algeria
* American Samoa Territory of American Samoa (US territory)
* Andorra Principality of Andorra
* Angola Republic of Angola
* Anguilla (UK overseas territory)
* Antigua and Barbuda
* Argentina Argentine Republic
* Armenia Republic of Armenia & Nagorno-Karabakh Republic (Artsakh)
* Aruba (Self-governing country in the Kingdom of the Netherlands)
* Australia Commonwealth of Australia
* Austria Republic of Austria
* Bermuda (UK overseas territory)
* Bolivia Republic of Bolivia
* Bosnia and Herzegovina
* Botswana Republic of Botswana
* Bulgaria Republic of Bulgaria
* Burkina Faso
* Burma Union of Myanmar
* Cambodia Kingdom of Cambodia
* Canada
* China People's Republic of China
* Colombia Republic of Colombia
* Costa Rica Republic of Costa Rica
* Croatia Republic of Croatia
* Cuba Republic of Cuba
* Dominica Commonwealth of Dominica
* Eritrea State of Eritrea
* Estonia Republic of Estonia
* Ethiopia Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia
* Gambia, The Republic of The Gambia
* Georgia
* Ghana Republic of Ghana
* Grenada
* Guatemala Republic of Guatemala
* Guinea Republic of Guinea
* Guinea-Bissau Republic of Guinea-Bissau
* Guyana Co-operative Republic of Guyana
* India Republic of India
* Indonesia Republic of Indonesia
* Jamaica
* Kenya Republic of Kenya
* Korea, North Democratic People's Republic of Korea
* Korea, South Republic of Korea
* Latvia Republic of Latvia
* Liberia Republic of Liberia
* Libya Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
* Lithuania Republic of Lithuania
* Macedonia Republic of Macedonia
* Malaysia
* Malta Republic of Malta
* Mauritania Islamic Republic of Mauritania
* Micronesia Federated States of Micronesia
* Moldova Republic of Moldova
* Mongolia
* Namibia Republic of Namibia
* New Caledonia Territory of New Caledonia and Dependencies (French community sui generis)
* Nicaragua Republic of Nicaragua
* Nigeria Federal Republic of Nigeria
* Panama Republic of Panama
* Papua New Guinea Independent State of Papua New Guinea
* Romania
* Russia Russian Federation
* Rwanda Republic of Rwanda
* Saint Lucia
* Samoa Independent State of Samoa
* Saudi Arabia Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
* Serbia Republic of Serbia
* Slovakia Slovak Republic
* Slovenia Republic of Slovenia
* Somalia Somali Republic
* South Africa Republic of South Africa
* South Ossetia Republic of South Ossetia
* Sri Lanka Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka
* Syria Syrian Arab Republic
* Tanzania United Republic of Tanzania
* Tonga Kingdom of Tonga
* Transnistria Transnistrian Moldovan Republic
* Tunisia Tunisian Republic
* Uganda Republic of Uganda
* United States of America
* Venezuela Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela
* Western Sahara - Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic
09.07.2008 commentary on family life, or an idea for a new tv show
In this day and age where family situations are not quite what they used to be, it is not an uncommon story line to have a man and woman get married, and then their children of young dating age end up having feelings for each other. Well I would like to see the story go the other way. Lets say we have a young couple who are finally serious enough that they want their parents to meet. Well it turns out they are both children of divorce, so the first dinner plan that works is the father of the girl and the mother of the boy. As dinner continues the parents hit it off. So the kids keep dating, and eventually the parents decide to date, end even get married. So now you have step brother and sister dating. Which isnt as big a deal as the living together under the same roof. Normally that is the kind of pressure reserved for married people, or at least older couples who are ready to live on their own. Younger kids have relationship adventures that would not be helped by living together. But I suppose in the modern world it is possible that it is happening right now somewhere. [send to a friend]
09.07.2008 Elmer's Glue Mascot
If youve looked at a bottle of Elmers glue, you will notice there is a cow on the label. If you are curious continue reading. If not you will probably find this to be just another boring entry in the warped mind spilling that is my site. The cows name is Elmer. He is the husband of Elsie, the cow from the Borden products. Elmers glue doesnt contain any animal products. No hooves or anything. If you are more curious than this, you can read about these items here: Elmers Glue Fun Facts. [send to a friend]
09.07.2008 License Plates
If all cars in this country have license plates, why is attaching the plate to the car such an after thought? It seems like the bumper shape is generic enough to allow for the bumper to be used in other countries, but even still there isn't an easy way to fasten the plate to the car. Is the screw the best we have? I don't have my million dollar replacement idea worked out just yet- but somebody smarter than me should have figured this out by now. [send to a friend]
09.07.2008 Batman
WARNING- this post was made after watching the Dark Knight movie.
If we are talking about superheroes and gadgets, of course Batman is the name that comes to mind. He has engineered some amazing stuff. The one thing that I think he should have come up with early on, that as far as I can tell he never has, is a voice changer. Now a days you can go to Wal-Mart and buy a mask that will make your voice sound like a robot or alien or whatever. Why couldn't he come up with something to make his voice sound more like a bat? I'll tell you why- if it was all squeaking and rodent sounds nobody would be able to understand him. Not to mention the fear and respect would go way down. Bats aren't really known for being fierce creatures by themselves. A little scary in a bump-in-the-night kind of way, but they don't have a roar or anything that would strike fear into the hearts of men. I guess Batman will have to keep sounding like Bruce Wayne after smoking a bunch of cigars. [send to a friend]
09.07.2008 Musical Taste
There are popular songs that end with a bang, and songs that fade out. Are there popular songs that begin with a fade in? Do we have the patience for something to really build? Do DJs always use the beginning of the song to talk anyway? Maybe songs fading in would just make their job easier, but then that would encourage them to talk more, and we don't want that. [send to a friend]
09.07.2008 Sign business idea
I was watching the Gov. Palin speech and there was a wonderful moment when she acknowledged the Hockey-Moms in the audience. I'm convinced it was all planted so that she could tell a joke and seem more connected to the average people- but that is not the point. The hockey mom signs they had in the audience, and several others all looked hand made. Sure there were tons that looked like somebody spent a lot of money having things printed, but there were also some hand made. I'm torn on this topic (the signs, not the election) On one hand I want signs to look professional, like somebody cared enough to put in the effort. On the other hand, I admire the passion and inspiration it takes to make your own sign and wave it in front of the world. This seemed to be a metaphor for the election this year, but again I digress.
Whether it is the republican party convention, or a peace protest, or a strike, or an angry mob outside a BP gas station that runs contests that they never seem to have game pieces for- one thing remains the same- if you want to be heard, you need to communicate with multiple mediums. If signs are an option, I want to make it easy for people to do it correctly so that they are taken seriously. I'm not sure what it means to do it correctly, the fancy pre-printed, or the hand written personal touch angle. But to support either angle, I want to come up with a sign kit. There will be 2 main types, and several options within each of those. The first will be the fancy style kit. It will have a piece of poster board with a border and a good background color. It might have a nice gradient to the middle, or top to bottom, or any of several other nice bold choices. You will also get a large stick to which you can attach the sign so to be seen above your fellow demonstrators. To give this colorful paper on a stick more meaning, you have to add words. To make this more professional, we have included in the kit a set of stencils with the correct sized letters. There will also be a guide to help you figure out how much you should put on the sign before it becomes too much. There is nothing worse than getting to the end of the sign and realizing that you don't have room for all the letters. So we have the board, the stick, the stencils, then of course the paint markers. These will be colors that compliment the sign colors automatically, so there is no thinking needed for our colorblind consumers. These will be sturdy for long days of marching in the weather, or a very enthusiastic convention. The kit will also include a plastic coating for the sign that will keep it protected from the elements, as well as water cannons used by the riot police.
The other kits will be based on a stencil as well, but it will be a handwriting font so that it still looks like you did it yourself, but it will make sure it is readable. The kit will also include a list of impact words with options for misspelling them to make the experience more believable. These kits can be made available at your local craft store, and there should be bulk pricing. Whether you want a sing to help cheer on your child at a sporting event, or you want to arm 20 people with the same message for when the media shows up- this is the kit for you.
strong paper, plastic coated [send to a friend]
